i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
