I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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