When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
