In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
