at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
