the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
