dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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