i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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