you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
