guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
