things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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