FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
