A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
