got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
