We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
