your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
