worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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