I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just tell him i said nine months
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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