It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
