She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
