So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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