thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
