I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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