you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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