38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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