found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
