Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My breasts were aching with rage.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
