Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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