i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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