Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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