super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
