If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
