i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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