What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
