kristin has been a bad kristin
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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