...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Randomize
