girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
