Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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