I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the condom got lost in my hair
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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