On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize