If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
smell my finger.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
