she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
