great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
