his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
