she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
