Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
