fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
