I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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