She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
