I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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