Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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