i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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