the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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