youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
