you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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