I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize