where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize