If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
