I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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