The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
