Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
