ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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