then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
