Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
